It bit her..
The black bed bites..
Ria couldn’t sit on it anymore.
She did not want to get off it still.
She would just sit there and let it bite her and eat her till nothing of her remained. She refused to get off. She liked this. She wanted this. Every bit of the flesh being eaten alive.
Only when she was turned to naught, she would be ready.
To regenerate herself.
Only this time, it would not be new flesh and blood.
It would be Fire..
Signs…
Today when she walked out free from the prison, she had goosebumps and the wind hit her.
And suddenly she had a glimpse of what she needed to become, and decided to become.
Fire…
Only then, she hadn’t known why..why she needed to be Fire.
As usual it must have been the intuition to which she did not have any clue until later that night. The fire burnt inside her and she could see herself getting transformed in the visions of the future.
Ria would sit all night now till she became fire. She was in a hurry now, racing against time.
It cannot wait any longer for the future in which the visions were reflecting like a swaying image; that future seemed too distant. For tomorrow is another day and she needed and prayed and wished for it with all the stone in her, even against her own set principals which forbade her from wishing for anything for her own self. (For her wishes had always turned into curses that tore her in bits and pieces)
Her life depended on it.
Ring my bell..Ring my bells…
Yes…
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
CUPID
Cupid’s Arrow struck a deal..
“I would do a Cart-wheel before I aim for your heart, I would pass through his..
But..” he stopped for a moment.
“But what??” Irene nervously blurted out.
“You would have to sell your soul to the one I serve when I am not my personal legend.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.
Who do you serve?
What is this personal legend you talk about?
And what is this deal?
What deal?”
“My dear.. when today you sighed
And said to him, I am tired,
I too wish I had love in my life;
Your wish was picked up by the soul of the universe,
The Ancient One said- So be it.” ‘
“I was tired, I said it just like that.”
“There are no co-incidences. Not just like that.
Only incidences.”
“I do not understand a word of what u say.”
“Now there is no going back.
There are rules in your No Rules, which you abide by when you choose No Rules.”
“What is this going on? It must be a crazy dream.”
“You keep quiet and listen.
When you wished and He said So be it, I set out on my work, which is my personal legend.
I strike. That is my work and personal legend.
That apart, I need my cheap thrills, my games, my personal time, on which I choose to be with the one I serve for my own personal satisfaction.
You have been meeting Him since years now.
He would claim you finally. Now. Its time.”
Irene froze. For the first time, she looked around.
She was in an Arena. A Colosseum in Ruins.
Was that a Grey Giant Hound?
Did she drink too much last night?
No . She just had chilled coke.
The Arena looked dilapidated, massive strength of a site.
Walls that broke, ancient statues discolored, remnants of a recurrent sin.
Sunlight a distant memory it seemed in this mossy ,tarred, colored grin.
Cupid smiled through slanted sharp teeth.
“My dear Leah…
I struck his heart even before you could Scream No..
And bound yours to his.
Now. Your time has come. To give what is due.
You are the one.
You, my Master claims today.”
The dark clouds howled overhead and a crouching shadow started looming large as Cupid bowed his head and moved away.
There The One stood, small and twisted, hunch-backed, horns on his head.
His eyes like dirty fire…his tongue slit and flickering..
Unspeakable terror had returned.
“Speak now or hold your silence forever.” .
Cupid declared.
Irene bolted out of her horror filled reverie.
She looked around, yet again.
The pavilion had a few spectators. Known and unknown faces.
Adi stood up.
“These 7 years have been shrouded by the multiple veils of obligations duties, commitments and stress which time has so unkindly put around it.
But these 2 months of your absence has shredded these unwanted veils to bits.”
Cupid.
“The veil remains.”
Adi.
“I would shred them into bits right now.
He jumped into the arena and ran towards Nisha.
Nisha! My love- I would shred the veils right now.”
Adi pulled at the black veil frantically.
It made heaps and mounds on the ground.
Nithya.
“It won’t come out you bloody fool!
That is Draupadi’s drape!”
Cupid.
“Return.”
Adi leaves.
Moonlight steps into the Arena.
Moonlight.
“You and I are the same.
It is our fault.
Stop blaming others.
We can never be happy.
We are loners.
And you have fallen out of love in the truest sense of the word.
We are zero.”
Cupid.
“Moonlight howls at night in her sleep.
She has her own Arena where we tear her to bits.
She is Zero.
You the one in the Lion’s pit now – you are minus 10.”
“Return now.” (To Moonlight)
Pink.
“O my Beautiful.
O my sensuous.
O my Woman.
Why? Just why?
You had everything.
You have everything.
You are lucky. Ask me.”
Cupid.
“Return.”
The nameless one stood up and walked slow and steady steps to the Arena.
Nameless.
“I am minus 15.
I claim her.
Period.”
Cupid laughs his horrible laughter, that sounds like shrieks.
“You cannot claim her.
You are not whole.
You have others inside you.”
Nameless.
“Not others. Only one.
And I am whole.
She has one inside her as well.
So No Rules.
I claim her.
I would fight for her and break your ugly teeth and tear out his despicable horns.”
Cupid.
“Watch out.
If you curse, you would have to apologise.”
Irene.
“Stop all this.
I would speak now.”
The Unspeakable Terror hissed and thunder fell on the grounds.
“Where is the one?
Who is not conspicuous by his absence?
Get him.”
Leah.
“You get him and I would tear my insides out with the edges of the rocks strewn here.”
She screamed at him, with her flowing hair and flaming eyes.
Unspeakable Terror looked at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Fine.
My Master would claim you now.”
Irene.
“I have a few conditions.”
Unspeakable Terror looked at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Speak.”
Irene.
“It would have to be in my small bed in my apartment.
There would be no spectators, and these spectators would return to where they belong, with no memories of these.
There would be no off-spring. My womb has been touched by God.
I would tear my womb out with my very own hands and nails if the seeds create death.”
Unspeakable Terror cringed.
Unspeakable Terror looks at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Master says.
So be it.”
Europe.
Every inch of Trisha’s body emanated the buzzing sound and was frozen in time; no matter how hard she tried, she was pinned. She did not fly into blood red rage and profanities were not screaming inside her head towards that despicable Thing. She did not struggle, she was not afraid, as usual (she was almost never afraid) .The finger was tracing her entire back lustfully. She felt the wretched desire spread through her hauntingly paralyzed body. The finger kept tracing and touching her back, her body had been facing her left side when that thing started (just like the last time), her back was exposed to the air and now that thing. It was now tracing below her waist... Her mind drifted to this movie she had watched based on a true story where this woman was raped by a ghost. She felt herself contracting as she often did when terrible desire hit her. Trisha thought in between the rhythms, but this would not be Rape.
“I would do a Cart-wheel before I aim for your heart, I would pass through his..
But..” he stopped for a moment.
“But what??” Irene nervously blurted out.
“You would have to sell your soul to the one I serve when I am not my personal legend.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.
Who do you serve?
What is this personal legend you talk about?
And what is this deal?
What deal?”
“My dear.. when today you sighed
And said to him, I am tired,
I too wish I had love in my life;
Your wish was picked up by the soul of the universe,
The Ancient One said- So be it.” ‘
“I was tired, I said it just like that.”
“There are no co-incidences. Not just like that.
Only incidences.”
“I do not understand a word of what u say.”
“Now there is no going back.
There are rules in your No Rules, which you abide by when you choose No Rules.”
“What is this going on? It must be a crazy dream.”
“You keep quiet and listen.
When you wished and He said So be it, I set out on my work, which is my personal legend.
I strike. That is my work and personal legend.
That apart, I need my cheap thrills, my games, my personal time, on which I choose to be with the one I serve for my own personal satisfaction.
You have been meeting Him since years now.
He would claim you finally. Now. Its time.”
Irene froze. For the first time, she looked around.
She was in an Arena. A Colosseum in Ruins.
Was that a Grey Giant Hound?
Did she drink too much last night?
No . She just had chilled coke.
The Arena looked dilapidated, massive strength of a site.
Walls that broke, ancient statues discolored, remnants of a recurrent sin.
Sunlight a distant memory it seemed in this mossy ,tarred, colored grin.
Cupid smiled through slanted sharp teeth.
“My dear Leah…
I struck his heart even before you could Scream No..
And bound yours to his.
Now. Your time has come. To give what is due.
You are the one.
You, my Master claims today.”
The dark clouds howled overhead and a crouching shadow started looming large as Cupid bowed his head and moved away.
There The One stood, small and twisted, hunch-backed, horns on his head.
His eyes like dirty fire…his tongue slit and flickering..
Unspeakable terror had returned.
“Speak now or hold your silence forever.” .
Cupid declared.
Irene bolted out of her horror filled reverie.
She looked around, yet again.
The pavilion had a few spectators. Known and unknown faces.
Adi stood up.
“These 7 years have been shrouded by the multiple veils of obligations duties, commitments and stress which time has so unkindly put around it.
But these 2 months of your absence has shredded these unwanted veils to bits.”
Cupid.
“The veil remains.”
Adi.
“I would shred them into bits right now.
He jumped into the arena and ran towards Nisha.
Nisha! My love- I would shred the veils right now.”
Adi pulled at the black veil frantically.
It made heaps and mounds on the ground.
Nithya.
“It won’t come out you bloody fool!
That is Draupadi’s drape!”
Cupid.
“Return.”
Adi leaves.
Moonlight steps into the Arena.
Moonlight.
“You and I are the same.
It is our fault.
Stop blaming others.
We can never be happy.
We are loners.
And you have fallen out of love in the truest sense of the word.
We are zero.”
Cupid.
“Moonlight howls at night in her sleep.
She has her own Arena where we tear her to bits.
She is Zero.
You the one in the Lion’s pit now – you are minus 10.”
“Return now.” (To Moonlight)
Pink.
“O my Beautiful.
O my sensuous.
O my Woman.
Why? Just why?
You had everything.
You have everything.
You are lucky. Ask me.”
Cupid.
“Return.”
The nameless one stood up and walked slow and steady steps to the Arena.
Nameless.
“I am minus 15.
I claim her.
Period.”
Cupid laughs his horrible laughter, that sounds like shrieks.
“You cannot claim her.
You are not whole.
You have others inside you.”
Nameless.
“Not others. Only one.
And I am whole.
She has one inside her as well.
So No Rules.
I claim her.
I would fight for her and break your ugly teeth and tear out his despicable horns.”
Cupid.
“Watch out.
If you curse, you would have to apologise.”
Irene.
“Stop all this.
I would speak now.”
The Unspeakable Terror hissed and thunder fell on the grounds.
“Where is the one?
Who is not conspicuous by his absence?
Get him.”
Leah.
“You get him and I would tear my insides out with the edges of the rocks strewn here.”
She screamed at him, with her flowing hair and flaming eyes.
Unspeakable Terror looked at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Fine.
My Master would claim you now.”
Irene.
“I have a few conditions.”
Unspeakable Terror looked at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Speak.”
Irene.
“It would have to be in my small bed in my apartment.
There would be no spectators, and these spectators would return to where they belong, with no memories of these.
There would be no off-spring. My womb has been touched by God.
I would tear my womb out with my very own hands and nails if the seeds create death.”
Unspeakable Terror cringed.
Unspeakable Terror looks at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Master says.
So be it.”
Europe.
Every inch of Trisha’s body emanated the buzzing sound and was frozen in time; no matter how hard she tried, she was pinned. She did not fly into blood red rage and profanities were not screaming inside her head towards that despicable Thing. She did not struggle, she was not afraid, as usual (she was almost never afraid) .The finger was tracing her entire back lustfully. She felt the wretched desire spread through her hauntingly paralyzed body. The finger kept tracing and touching her back, her body had been facing her left side when that thing started (just like the last time), her back was exposed to the air and now that thing. It was now tracing below her waist... Her mind drifted to this movie she had watched based on a true story where this woman was raped by a ghost. She felt herself contracting as she often did when terrible desire hit her. Trisha thought in between the rhythms, but this would not be Rape.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
No Title
The heart is sad and mad.
Ribbons are cut into pieces.
Strewn in deeper abysses..
You go scuba -diving
Looking for pearls bigger than tear drops.
You find the old ship haunted,
Mad stories re-counted
Played infront of your very eyes.
The wonder that reflects is the way she sighs
And then finally shies..
The colors all change
The light reaches
The ocean regales.
Time flies a bit…
The earrings from Greece
Have Pearls bigger than her tear drops.
Ribbons are cut into pieces.
Strewn in deeper abysses..
You go scuba -diving
Looking for pearls bigger than tear drops.
You find the old ship haunted,
Mad stories re-counted
Played infront of your very eyes.
The wonder that reflects is the way she sighs
And then finally shies..
The colors all change
The light reaches
The ocean regales.
Time flies a bit…
The earrings from Greece
Have Pearls bigger than her tear drops.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
With Music Please!
Great distance you have travelled
With time you would Un-ravel
All the mysteries life has to offer me…
Great distance I have travelled
With time I don’t want to un-ravel
All the mysteries life has offered me…
You would Know! O baby can’t you see!
You would be! Whatever you want to be..
But what is it that you want out of me?
I do not know
Nor I care
For all I want to be..
Is just the little insignificant Sea..
With time you would Un-ravel
All the mysteries life has to offer me…
Great distance I have travelled
With time I don’t want to un-ravel
All the mysteries life has offered me…
You would Know! O baby can’t you see!
You would be! Whatever you want to be..
But what is it that you want out of me?
I do not know
Nor I care
For all I want to be..
Is just the little insignificant Sea..
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The Scream
Leah stood at the edge of the cliff and screamed-
DAMIENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
The scream continued….it reverberated against the mountain range far away and the water deep below.
Slowly and suddenly cracks began to appear in the snow at the peaks. The water below picked up her wail and began to howl with the torrid wind.
The wind picked up and blew the snow away baring the rocky surface beneath.
The cracks started spreading through the rocks and reached the tree laden lower parts of the hills. The wind tore the trees and thrashed them at the water.
The water began rising and the ocean unleashed its wrath on the hapless shores all around.
The people began screaming and scampering for safety but the skies broke down and thunders tore down houses and burnt the fields. Giant waves lashed against the lands and gulped them down. Fire tore out from the belly of the earth and hissed when the molten insides shot out to the heavens and fell back on the icy cold mad mass of liquid land.
Far above from another sky stood the Son of the Fallen Angel watching the spectacle.
Leah with her flowing hair and flaming eyes stood on one single still standing cliff submerged till her toes with water and fire and molten earth.
DAMIENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
The scream continued….it reverberated against the mountain range far away and the water deep below.
Slowly and suddenly cracks began to appear in the snow at the peaks. The water below picked up her wail and began to howl with the torrid wind.
The wind picked up and blew the snow away baring the rocky surface beneath.
The cracks started spreading through the rocks and reached the tree laden lower parts of the hills. The wind tore the trees and thrashed them at the water.
The water began rising and the ocean unleashed its wrath on the hapless shores all around.
The people began screaming and scampering for safety but the skies broke down and thunders tore down houses and burnt the fields. Giant waves lashed against the lands and gulped them down. Fire tore out from the belly of the earth and hissed when the molten insides shot out to the heavens and fell back on the icy cold mad mass of liquid land.
Far above from another sky stood the Son of the Fallen Angel watching the spectacle.
Leah with her flowing hair and flaming eyes stood on one single still standing cliff submerged till her toes with water and fire and molten earth.
The Plan
Raman had finally devised a way to get rid of Nisha. He would throw her from the 6th floor of the apartment in the middle of the night after getting her thoroughly drunk.
She looked at him with pitiable eyes of a dog. How he loathed it! No, she was not a dog, she was better, she was a bitch. Ha! Ha! One that he could ride when he was in heat and then throw her aside and turn around and sleep, and dream of Ashu…his Ashu…
Ashu’s parents would never accept him if he just left her. He cannot help it.
All he needed was 2 yrs more and this bloody bitch was getting restless…
But he was in luck, as the bitch still stood straight holding the table while he punched her back. Damn. She never uttered a cry. He shouldn’t push his luck more, he could sense it. If he ultimately had to do what he had to do, he would marry the bitch and bring her home and then throw her to the street dogs below.
Ashu…Ashu would walk into his home, and then it would be her home too, their world.
He would tear away all the old walls and build each inch of the house just as Ashu would want it. He would go shopping with her while she laughed and picked and chose the colours of the walls, the curtains, the bedsheets…their bedsheets…
Adi was breathing hard, real hard and it seemed to him the whole world was looking at him while he half-walked, half ran with his tall lanky legs, as fast as they could carry him. They could hear…Oh..they could hear his heart beating so loud like someone was hammering a wall down. Neeraj had called him some 10 minutes back or hundred years ago and said- It’s your day, you dog!
Nisha was not well, she had a bad headache and her throat was so hoarse that she could hardly talk, he had suggested the medicines, but as her parents were out for the evening, Neeraj had said that he is sending the medicines with Adi. Adi would go and give her the medicines.
Adi reached her house and rang the bell. She opened the door.
Adi pulled his breath inside and stopped breathing. Nisha stood wearing a pair of blue shorts and a mauve tee. Barefoot. She tried speaking but couldn’t, Adi let out his breath finally and threw his hands ahead and somehow muttered - Its okay. Don’t talk. Your medicines.
Nisha looked at him for a brief long moment. They stood silently. Then she made a sign for him to come inside. He followed her shadow and reached somewhere.
Nisha sat down on the couch, the floor caved in from under Adi’s feet and he was sitting at her feet holding her legs. His fingers brushed against the silk of her skin. He exploded inside his head and his body was in spasms. Her face was tilted down and he could see her beautiful face and those black diamond eyes. Adi held her knee like it was the last floating twig on the ocean in which he was drowning. He rested his face on it and looked up.
He would break the bastard’s thick neck with his bare hands if only a few drops would fall.
She looked at him with pitiable eyes of a dog. How he loathed it! No, she was not a dog, she was better, she was a bitch. Ha! Ha! One that he could ride when he was in heat and then throw her aside and turn around and sleep, and dream of Ashu…his Ashu…
Ashu’s parents would never accept him if he just left her. He cannot help it.
All he needed was 2 yrs more and this bloody bitch was getting restless…
But he was in luck, as the bitch still stood straight holding the table while he punched her back. Damn. She never uttered a cry. He shouldn’t push his luck more, he could sense it. If he ultimately had to do what he had to do, he would marry the bitch and bring her home and then throw her to the street dogs below.
Ashu…Ashu would walk into his home, and then it would be her home too, their world.
He would tear away all the old walls and build each inch of the house just as Ashu would want it. He would go shopping with her while she laughed and picked and chose the colours of the walls, the curtains, the bedsheets…their bedsheets…
Adi was breathing hard, real hard and it seemed to him the whole world was looking at him while he half-walked, half ran with his tall lanky legs, as fast as they could carry him. They could hear…Oh..they could hear his heart beating so loud like someone was hammering a wall down. Neeraj had called him some 10 minutes back or hundred years ago and said- It’s your day, you dog!
Nisha was not well, she had a bad headache and her throat was so hoarse that she could hardly talk, he had suggested the medicines, but as her parents were out for the evening, Neeraj had said that he is sending the medicines with Adi. Adi would go and give her the medicines.
Adi reached her house and rang the bell. She opened the door.
Adi pulled his breath inside and stopped breathing. Nisha stood wearing a pair of blue shorts and a mauve tee. Barefoot. She tried speaking but couldn’t, Adi let out his breath finally and threw his hands ahead and somehow muttered - Its okay. Don’t talk. Your medicines.
Nisha looked at him for a brief long moment. They stood silently. Then she made a sign for him to come inside. He followed her shadow and reached somewhere.
Nisha sat down on the couch, the floor caved in from under Adi’s feet and he was sitting at her feet holding her legs. His fingers brushed against the silk of her skin. He exploded inside his head and his body was in spasms. Her face was tilted down and he could see her beautiful face and those black diamond eyes. Adi held her knee like it was the last floating twig on the ocean in which he was drowning. He rested his face on it and looked up.
He would break the bastard’s thick neck with his bare hands if only a few drops would fall.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Pinyin
It happened yet again. But for the first time blinding rage did not hit Trisha, nor did unspeakable terror or helplessness. She now had a name for it. Surya had given her the name in the train the other day; this one name had several other names, faces and stories, a lot similar to her own. But, this was still little different from the hundreds of other nights and all those stories.
A night like this had come only once in a period of several years, more than seven years ago, and she had thoroughly regretted taking it jokingly thereafter.
This night has been repeating itself for the past month now in this beautiful apartment in Europe. No, the distance failed this time. It hadn’t happened in Spain and Trisha was happy when she came to Germany knowing it could not follow her here. But, how horribly wrong she was! But this was still little different. Like the last time a few nights before, she woke up unable to sleep, unable to move. Every inch of her body emanated the buzzing sound and was frozen in time; no matter how hard she tried, she was pinned. She did not fly into blood red rage and profanities were not screaming inside her head towards that despicable Thing. She did not struggle, she was not afraid, as usual (she was almost never afraid) and now she had the name. The difference... the finger was tracing her entire back lustfully. Like the previous five times here in this apartment. Like the last time, which was the first time, she felt the wretched desire spread through her hauntingly paralyzed body. The finger kept tracing and touching her back, her body had been facing her left side when that thing started (just like the last time), her back was exposed to the air and now that thing. It was now tracing below her waist... Her mind drifted to this movie she had watched based on a true story where this woman was raped by a ghost. She felt herself contracting as she often did when terrible desire hit her. Trisha thought in between the rhythms, but this would not be rape...
A night like this had come only once in a period of several years, more than seven years ago, and she had thoroughly regretted taking it jokingly thereafter.
This night has been repeating itself for the past month now in this beautiful apartment in Europe. No, the distance failed this time. It hadn’t happened in Spain and Trisha was happy when she came to Germany knowing it could not follow her here. But, how horribly wrong she was! But this was still little different. Like the last time a few nights before, she woke up unable to sleep, unable to move. Every inch of her body emanated the buzzing sound and was frozen in time; no matter how hard she tried, she was pinned. She did not fly into blood red rage and profanities were not screaming inside her head towards that despicable Thing. She did not struggle, she was not afraid, as usual (she was almost never afraid) and now she had the name. The difference... the finger was tracing her entire back lustfully. Like the previous five times here in this apartment. Like the last time, which was the first time, she felt the wretched desire spread through her hauntingly paralyzed body. The finger kept tracing and touching her back, her body had been facing her left side when that thing started (just like the last time), her back was exposed to the air and now that thing. It was now tracing below her waist... Her mind drifted to this movie she had watched based on a true story where this woman was raped by a ghost. She felt herself contracting as she often did when terrible desire hit her. Trisha thought in between the rhythms, but this would not be rape...
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