Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Return
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
MORON
M O R O N!
I fill up my days with several chores,
Get zombied by the thunderous roars;
Nope, not yours.
The Rain washes off the muck,
Each and every time.
It renews, it loves, it spares lives.
The skeleton of a burnt tree,
In black and white photographs, I see;
Terrible, beautiful, painful art,
Never fails to give me a start.
Yet, amidst the cozy dignity, passion for free,
I yearn, I turn, I see thee.
I fill up my days with several chores,
Get zombied by the thunderous roars;
Nope, not yours.
The Rain washes off the muck,
Each and every time.
It renews, it loves, it spares lives.
The skeleton of a burnt tree,
In black and white photographs, I see;
Terrible, beautiful, painful art,
Never fails to give me a start.
Yet, amidst the cozy dignity, passion for free,
I yearn, I turn, I see thee.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Yellow Cadillac 3
‘As if such a thing were possible’, Stella rolled with laughter on her feathery white bed.
The bright orange book lay flat down on its words.
No wonder Marquez’s name screamed out more than the title of the book hesitantly printed at the bottom. ‘Love in the time of Cholera.’
No. She wouldn’t read it. At least not tonight.
So close, yet so far; so many times, yet they missed, yet again.
The last bullet hissed, missed, sun-kissed strands of Medusa rare,
Droplets of fire fell on the shoulders bare.
Elaine, I care.
The whisper shot through her brain, for a change.
Startled, she broke her reverie deranged.
Arched back on the feathery bed, she screamed,
‘One penny or two’
Elaine, BOO!
Trickles of blood like rapidly spreading cells appeared on her bare mid-riff.
Cold leisurely licks cleaned them while the skin started caving in with fresh wounds.
Ugly bite marks decorated her stretched skin.
White bed, red bed, white bed, red bed,
Elaine sat on her white cane armchair on the sunny and sandy beach and tore off the petals from a wild flower.
The old yellow Cadillac waited at a respectable distance.
The bright orange book lay flat down on its words.
No wonder Marquez’s name screamed out more than the title of the book hesitantly printed at the bottom. ‘Love in the time of Cholera.’
No. She wouldn’t read it. At least not tonight.
So close, yet so far; so many times, yet they missed, yet again.
The last bullet hissed, missed, sun-kissed strands of Medusa rare,
Droplets of fire fell on the shoulders bare.
Elaine, I care.
The whisper shot through her brain, for a change.
Startled, she broke her reverie deranged.
Arched back on the feathery bed, she screamed,
‘One penny or two’
Elaine, BOO!
Trickles of blood like rapidly spreading cells appeared on her bare mid-riff.
Cold leisurely licks cleaned them while the skin started caving in with fresh wounds.
Ugly bite marks decorated her stretched skin.
White bed, red bed, white bed, red bed,
Elaine sat on her white cane armchair on the sunny and sandy beach and tore off the petals from a wild flower.
The old yellow Cadillac waited at a respectable distance.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Filthy
Wash the muck away please.
Both the seen and unseen.
Scrub it clean.
Kill the scream.
Do not try to make me cream.
Burns my throat and eyes with steam.
Take the red away from my dream.
Esteemed Highness.
Fagots and stolen life breaths.
Tonight's end, It states.
At the shore of the rotten river, It mates.
Fishing the gargantuan piranhas with flesh baits.
Open your mouth and puke.
This whole island, just nuke.
Both the seen and unseen.
Scrub it clean.
Kill the scream.
Do not try to make me cream.
Burns my throat and eyes with steam.
Take the red away from my dream.
Esteemed Highness.
Fagots and stolen life breaths.
Tonight's end, It states.
At the shore of the rotten river, It mates.
Fishing the gargantuan piranhas with flesh baits.
Open your mouth and puke.
This whole island, just nuke.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Shrugged
Scatterbrained, if you do not write, you shall die;
Such, the inevitable Cronos lied.
Buried and dug, rolled in the cozy rug,
It bothered, it shrugged,
On a lonely night, mugged,
Just short of rape, for the illuminated shade forbade.
The Perpetrator hideous, stale and impotent.
Torn, bruised and cut,
She woke up with the thrust.
Silly smiles pasted on swollen lips,
Gathered seeds with finger tips.
No matter how, no matter what,
Her belly's skinny, her womb shut.
Licked her mouth, found her feet,
Cartwheeled on the deserted street.
Black as coal, glimmering shield,
Her gaze congealed.
Torn, bruised and cut,
She woke up with a fresh new mighty thrust.
The form was heavy, the lights were out,
The breaths were muddy, the taste was stout.
And when it was just about, the lights were back,
The seeds were scattered, wasted in frozen haste.
Doleful smile pasted on swollen lips,
Frantically gathered the seeds with finger tips.
Spread her thighs, stuffed her insides,
Held her knees to her chest.
Black as coal, glimmering shield,
Her gaze congealed, on the starry field.
Such, the inevitable Cronos lied.
Buried and dug, rolled in the cozy rug,
It bothered, it shrugged,
On a lonely night, mugged,
Just short of rape, for the illuminated shade forbade.
The Perpetrator hideous, stale and impotent.
Torn, bruised and cut,
She woke up with the thrust.
Silly smiles pasted on swollen lips,
Gathered seeds with finger tips.
No matter how, no matter what,
Her belly's skinny, her womb shut.
Licked her mouth, found her feet,
Cartwheeled on the deserted street.
Black as coal, glimmering shield,
Her gaze congealed.
Torn, bruised and cut,
She woke up with a fresh new mighty thrust.
The form was heavy, the lights were out,
The breaths were muddy, the taste was stout.
And when it was just about, the lights were back,
The seeds were scattered, wasted in frozen haste.
Doleful smile pasted on swollen lips,
Frantically gathered the seeds with finger tips.
Spread her thighs, stuffed her insides,
Held her knees to her chest.
Black as coal, glimmering shield,
Her gaze congealed, on the starry field.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Moon
Moon chewed on sandalwood paste, dry.
Nerves itched on the creep that patted the thigh.
Come hither, come see, zero fee, zero fee.
She stared through the corner of her sight;
Halo almighty, she muttered under her mocking breath,
Spit on the speck that flew the nest.
Vodka dry, vodka dry, the bastard snatched her bottle with haste.
My nightmare yet again, paled me the other night,
Moon had shared with the man who could be Knight.
He rolled his eyes and threw up his arms.
Only if I had a sword! O why didn't you slay!
I had taught you the tricks, my way!
Do this, do that.
Shut the fuck up, she screamed inside.
This, the ultimate graveyard,
Could finally be free of the steady stream of visitors whims.
Nerves itched on the creep that patted the thigh.
Come hither, come see, zero fee, zero fee.
She stared through the corner of her sight;
Halo almighty, she muttered under her mocking breath,
Spit on the speck that flew the nest.
Vodka dry, vodka dry, the bastard snatched her bottle with haste.
My nightmare yet again, paled me the other night,
Moon had shared with the man who could be Knight.
He rolled his eyes and threw up his arms.
Only if I had a sword! O why didn't you slay!
I had taught you the tricks, my way!
Do this, do that.
Shut the fuck up, she screamed inside.
This, the ultimate graveyard,
Could finally be free of the steady stream of visitors whims.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Turtle
On the greenest part of the water were a few stepping stones which felt cold under her feet.
Nimble-toed, Nisha crept up behind the huge brown turtle and splashed into the water, startling it and squealing with silent peals of infectious laughter.
Her white cotton dress stuck to her, wet and red at places where the blood showed against her thin skin from the impact of the fall.
The poor turtle scampered away with Nisha in hot pursuit of it, into the clear blue sea. The turtle vanished out of sight soon, some place deep, where the sunlight got diffused and played heartbeats with Nisha's deaf ears.
She tried laughing again. This time, the cold, languid water filled her insides with a gurgling sound that not even other humans with voices could make. Her pretty petite legs beat against the water with a violent rhythm that she was so fond of.
For the first time in her life, sounds filled her head with lights so brilliant that it almost blinded her. Nisha kept her eyes forced open till the time the colors exploded inside her head. Her mouth formed a word that as usual had no sound.
M O R O N.
Nimble-toed, Nisha crept up behind the huge brown turtle and splashed into the water, startling it and squealing with silent peals of infectious laughter.
Her white cotton dress stuck to her, wet and red at places where the blood showed against her thin skin from the impact of the fall.
The poor turtle scampered away with Nisha in hot pursuit of it, into the clear blue sea. The turtle vanished out of sight soon, some place deep, where the sunlight got diffused and played heartbeats with Nisha's deaf ears.
She tried laughing again. This time, the cold, languid water filled her insides with a gurgling sound that not even other humans with voices could make. Her pretty petite legs beat against the water with a violent rhythm that she was so fond of.
For the first time in her life, sounds filled her head with lights so brilliant that it almost blinded her. Nisha kept her eyes forced open till the time the colors exploded inside her head. Her mouth formed a word that as usual had no sound.
M O R O N.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Yellow Cadillac 2
The Jet landed on a stranded net
Of an island, faraway.
Crashed, was more like it.
It's tail in pieces, it's nose dived into a yellow beach.
Screech, halt, screech.
Fifteen new Cadillacs surrounded the mess.
All yellow, pale.
Behind the strange trail, stood at a distance an old yellow cadillac.
Somehow the plane did not burst into flames, but the passengers were hurt and in tears.
300 odd ones of all shapes, sizes and years.
None mattered, but one.
Elaine.
Elaine.
Get down from the fucking plane.
The people spilled over to the sands and were stunned.
Gunned, more like it. Pun, understand.
Elaine, too. She staggered and almost flew like a little swallow up in the skies.
Run, Elaine , run.
As fast as your tiny feet can carry you, run, baby run.
Elaine with slow, steady steps crossed the insurmountable boundary of the pale.
The fifteen pale yellow Cadillacs blew up into fumes, carrying the debris of a huge Jet and 299 odd people into the burning air.
Elaine, I care.
Of an island, faraway.
Crashed, was more like it.
It's tail in pieces, it's nose dived into a yellow beach.
Screech, halt, screech.
Fifteen new Cadillacs surrounded the mess.
All yellow, pale.
Behind the strange trail, stood at a distance an old yellow cadillac.
Somehow the plane did not burst into flames, but the passengers were hurt and in tears.
300 odd ones of all shapes, sizes and years.
None mattered, but one.
Elaine.
Elaine.
Get down from the fucking plane.
The people spilled over to the sands and were stunned.
Gunned, more like it. Pun, understand.
Elaine, too. She staggered and almost flew like a little swallow up in the skies.
Run, Elaine , run.
As fast as your tiny feet can carry you, run, baby run.
Elaine with slow, steady steps crossed the insurmountable boundary of the pale.
The fifteen pale yellow Cadillacs blew up into fumes, carrying the debris of a huge Jet and 299 odd people into the burning air.
Elaine, I care.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Yellow Cadillac
Of all the dreams that were potent, balanced and besotted,
drove a yellow Cadillac on a highway that were glued to no sides;
A chain of blinking lights and the roads hauled up to the skies and back.
Along the spin of one such road, ran a steep staircase.
Once up, it swirled with the turns that led straight to a distant shore.
Rocky, green, but water all-right.
The water that started as mossy green, nice and cool,
spread it's huge blue and white wings and set the wind on the sails' tails.
Elaine!
Summer's here.
Let's set sail on the yacht as pretty as your stupid hat.
Whoa! Drinking chilled beer?
Yoho! Yes, of-course, and your red wine too.
And what about the yellow cadillac?
What about it?
What if it comes just when we leave?
It wouldn't. It is just a figment of your silly imagination.
Did you pop your pills?
Which ones?
Ah. No. Nothing.
What?
Nothing my dear, we're gonna make love. You don't wanna make babies, do you?
Nope. Ofcourse not. But we can make love here.
Why sail? What if my yellow Cadillac hails?
Pack your bags, where are the pills?
Come, let's go. Right at this moment.
No. No. I gotta wait.
Elaine! My baby, my dear. There are no yellow Cadillacs.
They were all taken apart while you slept through the years.
Come, now, let's go.
Summer's here.
Yellow Cadillac-
Elaine, I am at the steepest turn,
I can see the run.
Do not believe.
Come back, I am almost there.
I do not care.
Don't you see?
I am in the middle of the high sea.
I slept while they tore you down.
I saw it with my very eyes, through darkness profound.
Come back. Am here.
drove a yellow Cadillac on a highway that were glued to no sides;
A chain of blinking lights and the roads hauled up to the skies and back.
Along the spin of one such road, ran a steep staircase.
Once up, it swirled with the turns that led straight to a distant shore.
Rocky, green, but water all-right.
The water that started as mossy green, nice and cool,
spread it's huge blue and white wings and set the wind on the sails' tails.
Elaine!
Summer's here.
Let's set sail on the yacht as pretty as your stupid hat.
Whoa! Drinking chilled beer?
Yoho! Yes, of-course, and your red wine too.
And what about the yellow cadillac?
What about it?
What if it comes just when we leave?
It wouldn't. It is just a figment of your silly imagination.
Did you pop your pills?
Which ones?
Ah. No. Nothing.
What?
Nothing my dear, we're gonna make love. You don't wanna make babies, do you?
Nope. Ofcourse not. But we can make love here.
Why sail? What if my yellow Cadillac hails?
Pack your bags, where are the pills?
Come, let's go. Right at this moment.
No. No. I gotta wait.
Elaine! My baby, my dear. There are no yellow Cadillacs.
They were all taken apart while you slept through the years.
Come, now, let's go.
Summer's here.
Yellow Cadillac-
Elaine, I am at the steepest turn,
I can see the run.
Do not believe.
Come back, I am almost there.
I do not care.
Don't you see?
I am in the middle of the high sea.
I slept while they tore you down.
I saw it with my very eyes, through darkness profound.
Come back. Am here.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Yet again
No. Yes.
Yes. No.
Now am in splits...finally...
Am alive again at this precise moment.
If I was holding a pen, I would twist it tight and it would make silent marks...
A blank page, and this is all I need to stare at to decipher.
Like Blood IS Red.
It hurts when I pinch.
Light hides when I squint.
Can feel the face when I smile.
Sense it when I half-open my mouth.
And several other SUCH mundane things.
All of it, Me.
Whatever that is.
And of all things that is not me,
A bit of it is you.
Yes. No.
Now am in splits...finally...
Am alive again at this precise moment.
If I was holding a pen, I would twist it tight and it would make silent marks...
A blank page, and this is all I need to stare at to decipher.
Like Blood IS Red.
It hurts when I pinch.
Light hides when I squint.
Can feel the face when I smile.
Sense it when I half-open my mouth.
And several other SUCH mundane things.
All of it, Me.
Whatever that is.
And of all things that is not me,
A bit of it is you.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Epilogue to Erotica
Prologue :
This follows two previous pieces.
One is “Blood (Erotica)”, by me. That is un-publishable.
Those who would to want to read it may request so. It will be mailed to them, at my sole discretion.
The other is a lyrical response to Blood (Erotica), by Arrow (@Sayak Shome):
“Haunting!
Her *** made venomous by his touch.
Her blood, now like a heavenly liquor, an elixir, tried to soothe her, fusing with and making the poison benign, not letting her *** burn her inside out.”
Epilogue to Erotica
Is it a vampire that lurks in the corner of our sharp eyes?
Not the cute couple of Eclipse or Twilight,
Or the triangle of love
Where a poor powerful Werewolf is caught,
As if Trap
An inherent character of love defines.
My head spins,
Must be the poisoned gins
That so possess me in the madness of their erotic find.
Serves them right.
My ten hands and third eye would burn them bright!
My laughter transcends the three Worlds,
O my dear, Lord of the Rage,
Would you want to calm me now?
Almost All of these,
I can wield and make untrue, just pretend,
Only if you would intend
To fill me up from head to toe,
To gulp me and not bellow
To munch me and crunch me
Savour me with your lilting tongue
And lick your fingertips with pleasure
You (My Lord) heavily pleased
A meal well loved.
This follows two previous pieces.
One is “Blood (Erotica)”, by me. That is un-publishable.
Those who would to want to read it may request so. It will be mailed to them, at my sole discretion.
The other is a lyrical response to Blood (Erotica), by Arrow (@Sayak Shome):
“Haunting!
Her *** made venomous by his touch.
Her blood, now like a heavenly liquor, an elixir, tried to soothe her, fusing with and making the poison benign, not letting her *** burn her inside out.”
Epilogue to Erotica
Is it a vampire that lurks in the corner of our sharp eyes?
Not the cute couple of Eclipse or Twilight,
Or the triangle of love
Where a poor powerful Werewolf is caught,
As if Trap
An inherent character of love defines.
My head spins,
Must be the poisoned gins
That so possess me in the madness of their erotic find.
Serves them right.
My ten hands and third eye would burn them bright!
My laughter transcends the three Worlds,
O my dear, Lord of the Rage,
Would you want to calm me now?
Almost All of these,
I can wield and make untrue, just pretend,
Only if you would intend
To fill me up from head to toe,
To gulp me and not bellow
To munch me and crunch me
Savour me with your lilting tongue
And lick your fingertips with pleasure
You (My Lord) heavily pleased
A meal well loved.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Mumblings
A- Can hear the sounds of the howling wind in your lungs my Beautiful.
B- Oh. So now?
A- Thinking of writing Hounds of Baskervilles Part Two.
B- In this setting? Befitting.
A- What is wrong? The Sparrow’s Song will split the night into one large Dark Half.
B- Did you say one?
A- The other shall be Insomnia induced by brightly lit auras.
B- Are you done with your mumblings?
A- Why? Would you light a cigarette?
B- What if I?
A- What if you?
B- I would not.
A- Ofcourse you wouldn’t.
B- Why do you say that?
A- Oh. Just like that.
B- Yes. I am scared I would choke.
A- Shut up. Did I ask?
B- No you didn’t.
A- I love you.
B- Ditto.
B- Oh. So now?
A- Thinking of writing Hounds of Baskervilles Part Two.
B- In this setting? Befitting.
A- What is wrong? The Sparrow’s Song will split the night into one large Dark Half.
B- Did you say one?
A- The other shall be Insomnia induced by brightly lit auras.
B- Are you done with your mumblings?
A- Why? Would you light a cigarette?
B- What if I?
A- What if you?
B- I would not.
A- Ofcourse you wouldn’t.
B- Why do you say that?
A- Oh. Just like that.
B- Yes. I am scared I would choke.
A- Shut up. Did I ask?
B- No you didn’t.
A- I love you.
B- Ditto.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Realize
Yes. I do.
I realize.
In many words riddled with various strains,
I can confess that I do.
That I know.
My second innings of an age-old learning.
No.
I cannot make it simple.
I cannot announce it,
But I know.
As simple as that.
Of what you two are up-to.
I realize.
In many words riddled with various strains,
I can confess that I do.
That I know.
My second innings of an age-old learning.
No.
I cannot make it simple.
I cannot announce it,
But I know.
As simple as that.
Of what you two are up-to.
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Cycle
Hera changed her form so often that Aphrodite found it difficult to keep pace with her.Bound by jealousy, hatred and sinful lust, she wanted her, loathed her and craved her with various degrees of inherently changeable emotions.
Right now,
Hera belonged to the Dusk.
To Rust.
And to trust.
Also Mistrust.
Strangle, push, pull and Rape.
Bind her hands with Steel Tape.
Devour her like Cronus into mangled shape.
Puke her out when tricked.
Let her rust.
To dust.
Sprinkle some poison.
Make sure all's in broad daylight.
Or the dead of the unholy nite.
Dusk, she must not step on.
Else all would be gone.
Thorns should grow where she lies.
Resurrected at every breath of shies.
'Eclipses' her Marigold desires.
Tattered and torn petals shall be burnt to coals.
None but none would play any roles.
Time and Time would carry her pitiable soul.
Wind would refuse her.
Lights shall not scroll.
Refuse to free.
In Maddening glee.
Rivers of death
Would queen her make.
Shovels and spades should her rake.
Barbs bespake.
In short.
Cocaine snort.
Red Dragon worshipped.
Entrails ripped.
Sovereign Retreat
Stench of filth.
Right now,
Hera belonged to the Dusk.
To Rust.
And to trust.
Also Mistrust.
Strangle, push, pull and Rape.
Bind her hands with Steel Tape.
Devour her like Cronus into mangled shape.
Puke her out when tricked.
Let her rust.
To dust.
Sprinkle some poison.
Make sure all's in broad daylight.
Or the dead of the unholy nite.
Dusk, she must not step on.
Else all would be gone.
Thorns should grow where she lies.
Resurrected at every breath of shies.
'Eclipses' her Marigold desires.
Tattered and torn petals shall be burnt to coals.
None but none would play any roles.
Time and Time would carry her pitiable soul.
Wind would refuse her.
Lights shall not scroll.
Refuse to free.
In Maddening glee.
Rivers of death
Would queen her make.
Shovels and spades should her rake.
Barbs bespake.
In short.
Cocaine snort.
Red Dragon worshipped.
Entrails ripped.
Sovereign Retreat
Stench of filth.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Fullstop
Blood red rose oozes blood
Thorns the size of pins
Mixes with the liquid mockery of a life
They travel through the veins
Right into the black heart
Soul that was
Vanishes into thin air
No commas fullstop
Eternal silence that screams
With sound unheard
No rhythms not loud
Burning mushroom cloud
Skins alive those living in the shroud
Nothingness
Barely breathing
Clutching
Seething
Would not let the poem end
Eternal circle of life and death
No escape
Thorns the size of pins
Mixes with the liquid mockery of a life
They travel through the veins
Right into the black heart
Soul that was
Vanishes into thin air
No commas fullstop
Eternal silence that screams
With sound unheard
No rhythms not loud
Burning mushroom cloud
Skins alive those living in the shroud
Nothingness
Barely breathing
Clutching
Seething
Would not let the poem end
Eternal circle of life and death
No escape
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Ode To Athena
Have you ever amidst Madness and Chaos thought of losing it all?
Unleashed terror, in the garb of the divine thunder, does it scare you?
Warrior Goddess…I wield my sword…
My Muse…my wondrous Athena…
I stand; my sword held high…in the blood thirsty Arena!
The two-horned Beast amidst the Mist
Creeps into my queer human abode.
I lay there as per the rules of the game
And silently call your name.
In abhorable lust at her proud bust
His blind green eyes and slimy form
Slips and slides through the dark night
His crooked teeth shine yellow bright
Almost with joy at impending Conquest.
Hell freezes over!
War’s first strike
Lay at both my sides.
Love claimed and unclaimed
Like a sheath reflecting his Medusa eyes.
Beat the Devil
Trick the Evil.
The evening star goes afar
To let me be and seek its light
Direction its destiny
Laughter and calm its form.
The smile against my smile
In playful glee
‘My evil devil’
Claims me
My Life a War Zone
My Love a heady moan
A North Star to stare and ogle at in hours of need and no need
A Drone
A sweet strawberry Cone
Burdens and Happiness
Chock- a-block Zone
Unleashed terror, in the garb of the divine thunder, does it scare you?
Warrior Goddess…I wield my sword…
My Muse…my wondrous Athena…
I stand; my sword held high…in the blood thirsty Arena!
The two-horned Beast amidst the Mist
Creeps into my queer human abode.
I lay there as per the rules of the game
And silently call your name.
In abhorable lust at her proud bust
His blind green eyes and slimy form
Slips and slides through the dark night
His crooked teeth shine yellow bright
Almost with joy at impending Conquest.
Hell freezes over!
War’s first strike
Lay at both my sides.
Love claimed and unclaimed
Like a sheath reflecting his Medusa eyes.
Beat the Devil
Trick the Evil.
The evening star goes afar
To let me be and seek its light
Direction its destiny
Laughter and calm its form.
The smile against my smile
In playful glee
‘My evil devil’
Claims me
My Life a War Zone
My Love a heady moan
A North Star to stare and ogle at in hours of need and no need
A Drone
A sweet strawberry Cone
Burdens and Happiness
Chock- a-block Zone
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Sticky Love
You make me high...
Blood red sticky love
The breaths fight a raging war
I mersmerize, I fantasize.
I squirm so very much against the strength of the storm
Nature bows,the oceans gorge
On a mouthful of orange setting sun
Hey you
The nights have your hue...
Blood red sticky love
The breaths fight a raging war
I mersmerize, I fantasize.
I squirm so very much against the strength of the storm
Nature bows,the oceans gorge
On a mouthful of orange setting sun
Hey you
The nights have your hue...
Friday, August 20, 2010
BITES
It bit her..
The black bed bites..
Ria couldn’t sit on it anymore.
She did not want to get off it still.
She would just sit there and let it bite her and eat her till nothing of her remained. She refused to get off. She liked this. She wanted this. Every bit of the flesh being eaten alive.
Only when she was turned to naught, she would be ready.
To regenerate herself.
Only this time, it would not be new flesh and blood.
It would be Fire..
Signs…
Today when she walked out free from the prison, she had goosebumps and the wind hit her.
And suddenly she had a glimpse of what she needed to become, and decided to become.
Fire…
Only then, she hadn’t known why..why she needed to be Fire.
As usual it must have been the intuition to which she did not have any clue until later that night. The fire burnt inside her and she could see herself getting transformed in the visions of the future.
Ria would sit all night now till she became fire. She was in a hurry now, racing against time.
It cannot wait any longer for the future in which the visions were reflecting like a swaying image; that future seemed too distant. For tomorrow is another day and she needed and prayed and wished for it with all the stone in her, even against her own set principals which forbade her from wishing for anything for her own self. (For her wishes had always turned into curses that tore her in bits and pieces)
Her life depended on it.
Ring my bell..Ring my bells…
Yes…
The black bed bites..
Ria couldn’t sit on it anymore.
She did not want to get off it still.
She would just sit there and let it bite her and eat her till nothing of her remained. She refused to get off. She liked this. She wanted this. Every bit of the flesh being eaten alive.
Only when she was turned to naught, she would be ready.
To regenerate herself.
Only this time, it would not be new flesh and blood.
It would be Fire..
Signs…
Today when she walked out free from the prison, she had goosebumps and the wind hit her.
And suddenly she had a glimpse of what she needed to become, and decided to become.
Fire…
Only then, she hadn’t known why..why she needed to be Fire.
As usual it must have been the intuition to which she did not have any clue until later that night. The fire burnt inside her and she could see herself getting transformed in the visions of the future.
Ria would sit all night now till she became fire. She was in a hurry now, racing against time.
It cannot wait any longer for the future in which the visions were reflecting like a swaying image; that future seemed too distant. For tomorrow is another day and she needed and prayed and wished for it with all the stone in her, even against her own set principals which forbade her from wishing for anything for her own self. (For her wishes had always turned into curses that tore her in bits and pieces)
Her life depended on it.
Ring my bell..Ring my bells…
Yes…
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
CUPID
Cupid’s Arrow struck a deal..
“I would do a Cart-wheel before I aim for your heart, I would pass through his..
But..” he stopped for a moment.
“But what??” Irene nervously blurted out.
“You would have to sell your soul to the one I serve when I am not my personal legend.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.
Who do you serve?
What is this personal legend you talk about?
And what is this deal?
What deal?”
“My dear.. when today you sighed
And said to him, I am tired,
I too wish I had love in my life;
Your wish was picked up by the soul of the universe,
The Ancient One said- So be it.” ‘
“I was tired, I said it just like that.”
“There are no co-incidences. Not just like that.
Only incidences.”
“I do not understand a word of what u say.”
“Now there is no going back.
There are rules in your No Rules, which you abide by when you choose No Rules.”
“What is this going on? It must be a crazy dream.”
“You keep quiet and listen.
When you wished and He said So be it, I set out on my work, which is my personal legend.
I strike. That is my work and personal legend.
That apart, I need my cheap thrills, my games, my personal time, on which I choose to be with the one I serve for my own personal satisfaction.
You have been meeting Him since years now.
He would claim you finally. Now. Its time.”
Irene froze. For the first time, she looked around.
She was in an Arena. A Colosseum in Ruins.
Was that a Grey Giant Hound?
Did she drink too much last night?
No . She just had chilled coke.
The Arena looked dilapidated, massive strength of a site.
Walls that broke, ancient statues discolored, remnants of a recurrent sin.
Sunlight a distant memory it seemed in this mossy ,tarred, colored grin.
Cupid smiled through slanted sharp teeth.
“My dear Leah…
I struck his heart even before you could Scream No..
And bound yours to his.
Now. Your time has come. To give what is due.
You are the one.
You, my Master claims today.”
The dark clouds howled overhead and a crouching shadow started looming large as Cupid bowed his head and moved away.
There The One stood, small and twisted, hunch-backed, horns on his head.
His eyes like dirty fire…his tongue slit and flickering..
Unspeakable terror had returned.
“Speak now or hold your silence forever.” .
Cupid declared.
Irene bolted out of her horror filled reverie.
She looked around, yet again.
The pavilion had a few spectators. Known and unknown faces.
Adi stood up.
“These 7 years have been shrouded by the multiple veils of obligations duties, commitments and stress which time has so unkindly put around it.
But these 2 months of your absence has shredded these unwanted veils to bits.”
Cupid.
“The veil remains.”
Adi.
“I would shred them into bits right now.
He jumped into the arena and ran towards Nisha.
Nisha! My love- I would shred the veils right now.”
Adi pulled at the black veil frantically.
It made heaps and mounds on the ground.
Nithya.
“It won’t come out you bloody fool!
That is Draupadi’s drape!”
Cupid.
“Return.”
Adi leaves.
Moonlight steps into the Arena.
Moonlight.
“You and I are the same.
It is our fault.
Stop blaming others.
We can never be happy.
We are loners.
And you have fallen out of love in the truest sense of the word.
We are zero.”
Cupid.
“Moonlight howls at night in her sleep.
She has her own Arena where we tear her to bits.
She is Zero.
You the one in the Lion’s pit now – you are minus 10.”
“Return now.” (To Moonlight)
Pink.
“O my Beautiful.
O my sensuous.
O my Woman.
Why? Just why?
You had everything.
You have everything.
You are lucky. Ask me.”
Cupid.
“Return.”
The nameless one stood up and walked slow and steady steps to the Arena.
Nameless.
“I am minus 15.
I claim her.
Period.”
Cupid laughs his horrible laughter, that sounds like shrieks.
“You cannot claim her.
You are not whole.
You have others inside you.”
Nameless.
“Not others. Only one.
And I am whole.
She has one inside her as well.
So No Rules.
I claim her.
I would fight for her and break your ugly teeth and tear out his despicable horns.”
Cupid.
“Watch out.
If you curse, you would have to apologise.”
Irene.
“Stop all this.
I would speak now.”
The Unspeakable Terror hissed and thunder fell on the grounds.
“Where is the one?
Who is not conspicuous by his absence?
Get him.”
Leah.
“You get him and I would tear my insides out with the edges of the rocks strewn here.”
She screamed at him, with her flowing hair and flaming eyes.
Unspeakable Terror looked at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Fine.
My Master would claim you now.”
Irene.
“I have a few conditions.”
Unspeakable Terror looked at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Speak.”
Irene.
“It would have to be in my small bed in my apartment.
There would be no spectators, and these spectators would return to where they belong, with no memories of these.
There would be no off-spring. My womb has been touched by God.
I would tear my womb out with my very own hands and nails if the seeds create death.”
Unspeakable Terror cringed.
Unspeakable Terror looks at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Master says.
So be it.”
Europe.
Every inch of Trisha’s body emanated the buzzing sound and was frozen in time; no matter how hard she tried, she was pinned. She did not fly into blood red rage and profanities were not screaming inside her head towards that despicable Thing. She did not struggle, she was not afraid, as usual (she was almost never afraid) .The finger was tracing her entire back lustfully. She felt the wretched desire spread through her hauntingly paralyzed body. The finger kept tracing and touching her back, her body had been facing her left side when that thing started (just like the last time), her back was exposed to the air and now that thing. It was now tracing below her waist... Her mind drifted to this movie she had watched based on a true story where this woman was raped by a ghost. She felt herself contracting as she often did when terrible desire hit her. Trisha thought in between the rhythms, but this would not be Rape.
“I would do a Cart-wheel before I aim for your heart, I would pass through his..
But..” he stopped for a moment.
“But what??” Irene nervously blurted out.
“You would have to sell your soul to the one I serve when I am not my personal legend.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.
Who do you serve?
What is this personal legend you talk about?
And what is this deal?
What deal?”
“My dear.. when today you sighed
And said to him, I am tired,
I too wish I had love in my life;
Your wish was picked up by the soul of the universe,
The Ancient One said- So be it.” ‘
“I was tired, I said it just like that.”
“There are no co-incidences. Not just like that.
Only incidences.”
“I do not understand a word of what u say.”
“Now there is no going back.
There are rules in your No Rules, which you abide by when you choose No Rules.”
“What is this going on? It must be a crazy dream.”
“You keep quiet and listen.
When you wished and He said So be it, I set out on my work, which is my personal legend.
I strike. That is my work and personal legend.
That apart, I need my cheap thrills, my games, my personal time, on which I choose to be with the one I serve for my own personal satisfaction.
You have been meeting Him since years now.
He would claim you finally. Now. Its time.”
Irene froze. For the first time, she looked around.
She was in an Arena. A Colosseum in Ruins.
Was that a Grey Giant Hound?
Did she drink too much last night?
No . She just had chilled coke.
The Arena looked dilapidated, massive strength of a site.
Walls that broke, ancient statues discolored, remnants of a recurrent sin.
Sunlight a distant memory it seemed in this mossy ,tarred, colored grin.
Cupid smiled through slanted sharp teeth.
“My dear Leah…
I struck his heart even before you could Scream No..
And bound yours to his.
Now. Your time has come. To give what is due.
You are the one.
You, my Master claims today.”
The dark clouds howled overhead and a crouching shadow started looming large as Cupid bowed his head and moved away.
There The One stood, small and twisted, hunch-backed, horns on his head.
His eyes like dirty fire…his tongue slit and flickering..
Unspeakable terror had returned.
“Speak now or hold your silence forever.” .
Cupid declared.
Irene bolted out of her horror filled reverie.
She looked around, yet again.
The pavilion had a few spectators. Known and unknown faces.
Adi stood up.
“These 7 years have been shrouded by the multiple veils of obligations duties, commitments and stress which time has so unkindly put around it.
But these 2 months of your absence has shredded these unwanted veils to bits.”
Cupid.
“The veil remains.”
Adi.
“I would shred them into bits right now.
He jumped into the arena and ran towards Nisha.
Nisha! My love- I would shred the veils right now.”
Adi pulled at the black veil frantically.
It made heaps and mounds on the ground.
Nithya.
“It won’t come out you bloody fool!
That is Draupadi’s drape!”
Cupid.
“Return.”
Adi leaves.
Moonlight steps into the Arena.
Moonlight.
“You and I are the same.
It is our fault.
Stop blaming others.
We can never be happy.
We are loners.
And you have fallen out of love in the truest sense of the word.
We are zero.”
Cupid.
“Moonlight howls at night in her sleep.
She has her own Arena where we tear her to bits.
She is Zero.
You the one in the Lion’s pit now – you are minus 10.”
“Return now.” (To Moonlight)
Pink.
“O my Beautiful.
O my sensuous.
O my Woman.
Why? Just why?
You had everything.
You have everything.
You are lucky. Ask me.”
Cupid.
“Return.”
The nameless one stood up and walked slow and steady steps to the Arena.
Nameless.
“I am minus 15.
I claim her.
Period.”
Cupid laughs his horrible laughter, that sounds like shrieks.
“You cannot claim her.
You are not whole.
You have others inside you.”
Nameless.
“Not others. Only one.
And I am whole.
She has one inside her as well.
So No Rules.
I claim her.
I would fight for her and break your ugly teeth and tear out his despicable horns.”
Cupid.
“Watch out.
If you curse, you would have to apologise.”
Irene.
“Stop all this.
I would speak now.”
The Unspeakable Terror hissed and thunder fell on the grounds.
“Where is the one?
Who is not conspicuous by his absence?
Get him.”
Leah.
“You get him and I would tear my insides out with the edges of the rocks strewn here.”
She screamed at him, with her flowing hair and flaming eyes.
Unspeakable Terror looked at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Fine.
My Master would claim you now.”
Irene.
“I have a few conditions.”
Unspeakable Terror looked at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Speak.”
Irene.
“It would have to be in my small bed in my apartment.
There would be no spectators, and these spectators would return to where they belong, with no memories of these.
There would be no off-spring. My womb has been touched by God.
I would tear my womb out with my very own hands and nails if the seeds create death.”
Unspeakable Terror cringed.
Unspeakable Terror looks at Cupid.
Cupid.
“Master says.
So be it.”
Europe.
Every inch of Trisha’s body emanated the buzzing sound and was frozen in time; no matter how hard she tried, she was pinned. She did not fly into blood red rage and profanities were not screaming inside her head towards that despicable Thing. She did not struggle, she was not afraid, as usual (she was almost never afraid) .The finger was tracing her entire back lustfully. She felt the wretched desire spread through her hauntingly paralyzed body. The finger kept tracing and touching her back, her body had been facing her left side when that thing started (just like the last time), her back was exposed to the air and now that thing. It was now tracing below her waist... Her mind drifted to this movie she had watched based on a true story where this woman was raped by a ghost. She felt herself contracting as she often did when terrible desire hit her. Trisha thought in between the rhythms, but this would not be Rape.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
No Title
The heart is sad and mad.
Ribbons are cut into pieces.
Strewn in deeper abysses..
You go scuba -diving
Looking for pearls bigger than tear drops.
You find the old ship haunted,
Mad stories re-counted
Played infront of your very eyes.
The wonder that reflects is the way she sighs
And then finally shies..
The colors all change
The light reaches
The ocean regales.
Time flies a bit…
The earrings from Greece
Have Pearls bigger than her tear drops.
Ribbons are cut into pieces.
Strewn in deeper abysses..
You go scuba -diving
Looking for pearls bigger than tear drops.
You find the old ship haunted,
Mad stories re-counted
Played infront of your very eyes.
The wonder that reflects is the way she sighs
And then finally shies..
The colors all change
The light reaches
The ocean regales.
Time flies a bit…
The earrings from Greece
Have Pearls bigger than her tear drops.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
With Music Please!
Great distance you have travelled
With time you would Un-ravel
All the mysteries life has to offer me…
Great distance I have travelled
With time I don’t want to un-ravel
All the mysteries life has offered me…
You would Know! O baby can’t you see!
You would be! Whatever you want to be..
But what is it that you want out of me?
I do not know
Nor I care
For all I want to be..
Is just the little insignificant Sea..
With time you would Un-ravel
All the mysteries life has to offer me…
Great distance I have travelled
With time I don’t want to un-ravel
All the mysteries life has offered me…
You would Know! O baby can’t you see!
You would be! Whatever you want to be..
But what is it that you want out of me?
I do not know
Nor I care
For all I want to be..
Is just the little insignificant Sea..
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The Scream
Leah stood at the edge of the cliff and screamed-
DAMIENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
The scream continued….it reverberated against the mountain range far away and the water deep below.
Slowly and suddenly cracks began to appear in the snow at the peaks. The water below picked up her wail and began to howl with the torrid wind.
The wind picked up and blew the snow away baring the rocky surface beneath.
The cracks started spreading through the rocks and reached the tree laden lower parts of the hills. The wind tore the trees and thrashed them at the water.
The water began rising and the ocean unleashed its wrath on the hapless shores all around.
The people began screaming and scampering for safety but the skies broke down and thunders tore down houses and burnt the fields. Giant waves lashed against the lands and gulped them down. Fire tore out from the belly of the earth and hissed when the molten insides shot out to the heavens and fell back on the icy cold mad mass of liquid land.
Far above from another sky stood the Son of the Fallen Angel watching the spectacle.
Leah with her flowing hair and flaming eyes stood on one single still standing cliff submerged till her toes with water and fire and molten earth.
DAMIENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
The scream continued….it reverberated against the mountain range far away and the water deep below.
Slowly and suddenly cracks began to appear in the snow at the peaks. The water below picked up her wail and began to howl with the torrid wind.
The wind picked up and blew the snow away baring the rocky surface beneath.
The cracks started spreading through the rocks and reached the tree laden lower parts of the hills. The wind tore the trees and thrashed them at the water.
The water began rising and the ocean unleashed its wrath on the hapless shores all around.
The people began screaming and scampering for safety but the skies broke down and thunders tore down houses and burnt the fields. Giant waves lashed against the lands and gulped them down. Fire tore out from the belly of the earth and hissed when the molten insides shot out to the heavens and fell back on the icy cold mad mass of liquid land.
Far above from another sky stood the Son of the Fallen Angel watching the spectacle.
Leah with her flowing hair and flaming eyes stood on one single still standing cliff submerged till her toes with water and fire and molten earth.
The Plan
Raman had finally devised a way to get rid of Nisha. He would throw her from the 6th floor of the apartment in the middle of the night after getting her thoroughly drunk.
She looked at him with pitiable eyes of a dog. How he loathed it! No, she was not a dog, she was better, she was a bitch. Ha! Ha! One that he could ride when he was in heat and then throw her aside and turn around and sleep, and dream of Ashu…his Ashu…
Ashu’s parents would never accept him if he just left her. He cannot help it.
All he needed was 2 yrs more and this bloody bitch was getting restless…
But he was in luck, as the bitch still stood straight holding the table while he punched her back. Damn. She never uttered a cry. He shouldn’t push his luck more, he could sense it. If he ultimately had to do what he had to do, he would marry the bitch and bring her home and then throw her to the street dogs below.
Ashu…Ashu would walk into his home, and then it would be her home too, their world.
He would tear away all the old walls and build each inch of the house just as Ashu would want it. He would go shopping with her while she laughed and picked and chose the colours of the walls, the curtains, the bedsheets…their bedsheets…
Adi was breathing hard, real hard and it seemed to him the whole world was looking at him while he half-walked, half ran with his tall lanky legs, as fast as they could carry him. They could hear…Oh..they could hear his heart beating so loud like someone was hammering a wall down. Neeraj had called him some 10 minutes back or hundred years ago and said- It’s your day, you dog!
Nisha was not well, she had a bad headache and her throat was so hoarse that she could hardly talk, he had suggested the medicines, but as her parents were out for the evening, Neeraj had said that he is sending the medicines with Adi. Adi would go and give her the medicines.
Adi reached her house and rang the bell. She opened the door.
Adi pulled his breath inside and stopped breathing. Nisha stood wearing a pair of blue shorts and a mauve tee. Barefoot. She tried speaking but couldn’t, Adi let out his breath finally and threw his hands ahead and somehow muttered - Its okay. Don’t talk. Your medicines.
Nisha looked at him for a brief long moment. They stood silently. Then she made a sign for him to come inside. He followed her shadow and reached somewhere.
Nisha sat down on the couch, the floor caved in from under Adi’s feet and he was sitting at her feet holding her legs. His fingers brushed against the silk of her skin. He exploded inside his head and his body was in spasms. Her face was tilted down and he could see her beautiful face and those black diamond eyes. Adi held her knee like it was the last floating twig on the ocean in which he was drowning. He rested his face on it and looked up.
He would break the bastard’s thick neck with his bare hands if only a few drops would fall.
She looked at him with pitiable eyes of a dog. How he loathed it! No, she was not a dog, she was better, she was a bitch. Ha! Ha! One that he could ride when he was in heat and then throw her aside and turn around and sleep, and dream of Ashu…his Ashu…
Ashu’s parents would never accept him if he just left her. He cannot help it.
All he needed was 2 yrs more and this bloody bitch was getting restless…
But he was in luck, as the bitch still stood straight holding the table while he punched her back. Damn. She never uttered a cry. He shouldn’t push his luck more, he could sense it. If he ultimately had to do what he had to do, he would marry the bitch and bring her home and then throw her to the street dogs below.
Ashu…Ashu would walk into his home, and then it would be her home too, their world.
He would tear away all the old walls and build each inch of the house just as Ashu would want it. He would go shopping with her while she laughed and picked and chose the colours of the walls, the curtains, the bedsheets…their bedsheets…
Adi was breathing hard, real hard and it seemed to him the whole world was looking at him while he half-walked, half ran with his tall lanky legs, as fast as they could carry him. They could hear…Oh..they could hear his heart beating so loud like someone was hammering a wall down. Neeraj had called him some 10 minutes back or hundred years ago and said- It’s your day, you dog!
Nisha was not well, she had a bad headache and her throat was so hoarse that she could hardly talk, he had suggested the medicines, but as her parents were out for the evening, Neeraj had said that he is sending the medicines with Adi. Adi would go and give her the medicines.
Adi reached her house and rang the bell. She opened the door.
Adi pulled his breath inside and stopped breathing. Nisha stood wearing a pair of blue shorts and a mauve tee. Barefoot. She tried speaking but couldn’t, Adi let out his breath finally and threw his hands ahead and somehow muttered - Its okay. Don’t talk. Your medicines.
Nisha looked at him for a brief long moment. They stood silently. Then she made a sign for him to come inside. He followed her shadow and reached somewhere.
Nisha sat down on the couch, the floor caved in from under Adi’s feet and he was sitting at her feet holding her legs. His fingers brushed against the silk of her skin. He exploded inside his head and his body was in spasms. Her face was tilted down and he could see her beautiful face and those black diamond eyes. Adi held her knee like it was the last floating twig on the ocean in which he was drowning. He rested his face on it and looked up.
He would break the bastard’s thick neck with his bare hands if only a few drops would fall.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Pinyin
It happened yet again. But for the first time blinding rage did not hit Trisha, nor did unspeakable terror or helplessness. She now had a name for it. Surya had given her the name in the train the other day; this one name had several other names, faces and stories, a lot similar to her own. But, this was still little different from the hundreds of other nights and all those stories.
A night like this had come only once in a period of several years, more than seven years ago, and she had thoroughly regretted taking it jokingly thereafter.
This night has been repeating itself for the past month now in this beautiful apartment in Europe. No, the distance failed this time. It hadn’t happened in Spain and Trisha was happy when she came to Germany knowing it could not follow her here. But, how horribly wrong she was! But this was still little different. Like the last time a few nights before, she woke up unable to sleep, unable to move. Every inch of her body emanated the buzzing sound and was frozen in time; no matter how hard she tried, she was pinned. She did not fly into blood red rage and profanities were not screaming inside her head towards that despicable Thing. She did not struggle, she was not afraid, as usual (she was almost never afraid) and now she had the name. The difference... the finger was tracing her entire back lustfully. Like the previous five times here in this apartment. Like the last time, which was the first time, she felt the wretched desire spread through her hauntingly paralyzed body. The finger kept tracing and touching her back, her body had been facing her left side when that thing started (just like the last time), her back was exposed to the air and now that thing. It was now tracing below her waist... Her mind drifted to this movie she had watched based on a true story where this woman was raped by a ghost. She felt herself contracting as she often did when terrible desire hit her. Trisha thought in between the rhythms, but this would not be rape...
A night like this had come only once in a period of several years, more than seven years ago, and she had thoroughly regretted taking it jokingly thereafter.
This night has been repeating itself for the past month now in this beautiful apartment in Europe. No, the distance failed this time. It hadn’t happened in Spain and Trisha was happy when she came to Germany knowing it could not follow her here. But, how horribly wrong she was! But this was still little different. Like the last time a few nights before, she woke up unable to sleep, unable to move. Every inch of her body emanated the buzzing sound and was frozen in time; no matter how hard she tried, she was pinned. She did not fly into blood red rage and profanities were not screaming inside her head towards that despicable Thing. She did not struggle, she was not afraid, as usual (she was almost never afraid) and now she had the name. The difference... the finger was tracing her entire back lustfully. Like the previous five times here in this apartment. Like the last time, which was the first time, she felt the wretched desire spread through her hauntingly paralyzed body. The finger kept tracing and touching her back, her body had been facing her left side when that thing started (just like the last time), her back was exposed to the air and now that thing. It was now tracing below her waist... Her mind drifted to this movie she had watched based on a true story where this woman was raped by a ghost. She felt herself contracting as she often did when terrible desire hit her. Trisha thought in between the rhythms, but this would not be rape...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
You
I don't know what I am required to write..whether the red blood moon
that i so love at a different time..
It's your face..I should be able to trace
In the air..everywhere..you are not there.
But it doesn't matter much
For I can hold you in my touch
The tips of your fingers
I can feel brushing by in my memories.
Do you know that I put a tune
To every word's sand dune
And when it flows in your face
In some distant sea awake..
I can dream it
With Open eyes
And it seems that it would never end
And now I need to end
My steady flow of unreal words
Or it shall be difficult to stop
I need to just wake up
And feel the sunshine in my Hair
that i so love at a different time..
It's your face..I should be able to trace
In the air..everywhere..you are not there.
But it doesn't matter much
For I can hold you in my touch
The tips of your fingers
I can feel brushing by in my memories.
Do you know that I put a tune
To every word's sand dune
And when it flows in your face
In some distant sea awake..
I can dream it
With Open eyes
And it seems that it would never end
And now I need to end
My steady flow of unreal words
Or it shall be difficult to stop
I need to just wake up
And feel the sunshine in my Hair
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Skinburn
zzz..am lil drunk..on whisky..
zzz is fr feelin sleepy..dnt knw what to write fr feelin high..so..
thrs gonna be a lot of typos..i warn u..damn..
my skin's burnt..used Veet wax strips!- dnt ever use it! Damn..
on my underarms n my eyebrows n upper lips..thank God my face is nt burn..only thr .. alil..
is this better than heart burn? i wd like to believe it.ths takes mind off fm heart burn?
iwd like to believe it..
He thnks am smoking too much n it shows on my skin..i look ugly..thts what he meant..
I wnt die! atlst nt tonite..
I am a true wiccan..smone reminded me.. my underarms burn..
i dnt care.. evrythn burns..
thrs ths guy ..sorry ..thr was ths guy..in our paara long time ago..he committted suicide..by burning himself..he was still alive..when they took him to th hospital..bhai said he beged them to kill him as th pain was overwhelming..so..physical pain is worse than what burnt his heart..his mom hated his wife..they cdnt get along..he killed himslef..leavin his wife n his 1/2/3 yr old kid- i dnt remmbr th age..tht bitch..his mother..blamed one of our para guys later- sayi he commtted suicide as she had an affair wth him..it was a mess..tht poor guy (not so poor)- he liked me v v much) nev even spoke to tht poor lady..i hate th guy who committed suicide..nw he rots in hell..its on of th most vicious cardinal sins..killing urself..th life's nt urs to be taken..so u see..th life's nt urs..its His..nw th bastard's gone to hell..n wd nev evr perhaps get way frm th circle of life..thts my plan..to get awy fm th circle of life..
wait tll u hear ths one..
do u knw..women get real crazy when they are pregnat n gv birth to babies?
smthn happens to their fckn hormones..
2 storie.
1. thr was ths woman who jumped into th well when she was pregnant..
nt out of sm pain.. bt she bcame mad when she bcame pregnant.. God is unfair..she wd go to hell too..it was nt her fault..it was jst her hormones..
fck..
th other..
she was my distant relative whom i almost nev met..
she commited suicide when her boy-beautiful baby boy was 15 days old..her husband was hvn n affair wth his bhabhi..n she had bloated up n found herself really ugly post delivery..she set herself to fire..she died..amy she rot in hell..
her ubcle saw her wlakin up th stairs after her death in bridal jewellery n her shaadi wala dress..he died within a few days- hello! - he also had cancer..
ha ha//
may she rot in hell..
fck woman..hw dare u leave ur son..
i dnt..
i feel like dyin smtms early ..tkn my own life- bt takn my own life nev cms to my head..am a true God fearing person..its too dam n easy..fck..
i love tanu baby mr than anythn in the wrld.. n am made of steel..
u see..
fck.
my baby'd wrth a million lives..i can cm bk over n over agn..jst to hv him in my womb..jst to gv birth to him..
i love him. Him.
more than Him- my God.
i love HIM too..
bye.. fck u too.. if u dnt like my post ..damn..fck..am swearing..am swaering..ha ha..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4RjJKxsamQ&feature=related
zzz is fr feelin sleepy..dnt knw what to write fr feelin high..so..
thrs gonna be a lot of typos..i warn u..damn..
my skin's burnt..used Veet wax strips!- dnt ever use it! Damn..
on my underarms n my eyebrows n upper lips..thank God my face is nt burn..only thr .. alil..
is this better than heart burn? i wd like to believe it.ths takes mind off fm heart burn?
iwd like to believe it..
He thnks am smoking too much n it shows on my skin..i look ugly..thts what he meant..
I wnt die! atlst nt tonite..
I am a true wiccan..smone reminded me.. my underarms burn..
i dnt care.. evrythn burns..
thrs ths guy ..sorry ..thr was ths guy..in our paara long time ago..he committted suicide..by burning himself..he was still alive..when they took him to th hospital..bhai said he beged them to kill him as th pain was overwhelming..so..physical pain is worse than what burnt his heart..his mom hated his wife..they cdnt get along..he killed himslef..leavin his wife n his 1/2/3 yr old kid- i dnt remmbr th age..tht bitch..his mother..blamed one of our para guys later- sayi he commtted suicide as she had an affair wth him..it was a mess..tht poor guy (not so poor)- he liked me v v much) nev even spoke to tht poor lady..i hate th guy who committed suicide..nw he rots in hell..its on of th most vicious cardinal sins..killing urself..th life's nt urs to be taken..so u see..th life's nt urs..its His..nw th bastard's gone to hell..n wd nev evr perhaps get way frm th circle of life..thts my plan..to get awy fm th circle of life..
wait tll u hear ths one..
do u knw..women get real crazy when they are pregnat n gv birth to babies?
smthn happens to their fckn hormones..
2 storie.
1. thr was ths woman who jumped into th well when she was pregnant..
nt out of sm pain.. bt she bcame mad when she bcame pregnant.. God is unfair..she wd go to hell too..it was nt her fault..it was jst her hormones..
fck..
th other..
she was my distant relative whom i almost nev met..
she commited suicide when her boy-beautiful baby boy was 15 days old..her husband was hvn n affair wth his bhabhi..n she had bloated up n found herself really ugly post delivery..she set herself to fire..she died..amy she rot in hell..
her ubcle saw her wlakin up th stairs after her death in bridal jewellery n her shaadi wala dress..he died within a few days- hello! - he also had cancer..
ha ha//
may she rot in hell..
fck woman..hw dare u leave ur son..
i dnt..
i feel like dyin smtms early ..tkn my own life- bt takn my own life nev cms to my head..am a true God fearing person..its too dam n easy..fck..
i love tanu baby mr than anythn in the wrld.. n am made of steel..
u see..
fck.
my baby'd wrth a million lives..i can cm bk over n over agn..jst to hv him in my womb..jst to gv birth to him..
i love him. Him.
more than Him- my God.
i love HIM too..
bye.. fck u too.. if u dnt like my post ..damn..fck..am swearing..am swaering..ha ha..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4RjJKxsamQ&feature=related
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Burning
Burning with disdain
For every refrain.
I would put a tune
To my every sand dune.
The world's a crazy place.
For someone of my race.
Wouldn't know what to do.
I am all around you.
Would I go replace
A face for your face
And then would you be sad
At my action mad.
I am gaining ground
Within my own self
This is not a game
Not a part of shame
Why is that I burn
Isn't it now your turn?
For every refrain.
I would put a tune
To my every sand dune.
The world's a crazy place.
For someone of my race.
Wouldn't know what to do.
I am all around you.
Would I go replace
A face for your face
And then would you be sad
At my action mad.
I am gaining ground
Within my own self
This is not a game
Not a part of shame
Why is that I burn
Isn't it now your turn?
Rambling
I am rambling like thunder underneath the sky.
Precariously thin line of sanity and insanity?
That is what someone says.
Now. I can feel myself calming down.
Coming down.
Coming down.
Precariously thin line of sanity and insanity?
That is what someone says.
Now. I can feel myself calming down.
Coming down.
Coming down.
Love or whatever
I want to write vehemently and cry vehemently.
With all the strength that is left of me..
For this mad rush inside my mind kills me..there is no clarity of thoughts.
If you see all those wandering within the white washed walls..rambling to themselves?
Well I could be very well one of them..
When the clouds of this madness clears a little bit.
I would break into a zillion pieces of sunshine.. I promise..
With all the strength that is left of me..
For this mad rush inside my mind kills me..there is no clarity of thoughts.
If you see all those wandering within the white washed walls..rambling to themselves?
Well I could be very well one of them..
When the clouds of this madness clears a little bit.
I would break into a zillion pieces of sunshine.. I promise..
Paulo 3
When I was very young, I wore really short skirts
And my tops were hot.
I wrapped around me, all my vanity,
But inside there was turmoil, all insanity.
No would notice it and they still don't do.
There's no difference..whatsoever now and then..
And my tops were hot.
I wrapped around me, all my vanity,
But inside there was turmoil, all insanity.
No would notice it and they still don't do.
There's no difference..whatsoever now and then..
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tip of my nose
I am so happy today!
Despite the fact that all I can think and feel- very very prominently is the tip of my nose.
Ahem..its so much more better than talking about my burning cheeks- which sound like something out of a soap..Mills n Boons..horrible.
Ugggh!
Thankfully its the tip of my nose that joined the burning brigade.. and I used it like the tip of an iceberg :)
Despite the fact that all I can think and feel- very very prominently is the tip of my nose.
Ahem..its so much more better than talking about my burning cheeks- which sound like something out of a soap..Mills n Boons..horrible.
Ugggh!
Thankfully its the tip of my nose that joined the burning brigade.. and I used it like the tip of an iceberg :)
Paulo
Paulo.. I declare my war on you today..
Lets make this a game..
Am gonna meet you at this. And beat you at this.
The tip of my nose is burning..n i would wanna stop it- its caught on the fire from my cheeks.
If I write and I write and I write..it would perhaps help me to soothe it.
Even though its not better than the kisses that could land in an attempt to cool it, but it would not be a feeble attempt or the wrong treatment.
How can I pretend that I don't know it? It is shame. deep shame..and I wanna soothe it.So I would write till it goes and then write some more and then write some more.
And I come back to my senses and focus strongly at you and beat you.
Lets make this a game..
Am gonna meet you at this. And beat you at this.
The tip of my nose is burning..n i would wanna stop it- its caught on the fire from my cheeks.
If I write and I write and I write..it would perhaps help me to soothe it.
Even though its not better than the kisses that could land in an attempt to cool it, but it would not be a feeble attempt or the wrong treatment.
How can I pretend that I don't know it? It is shame. deep shame..and I wanna soothe it.So I would write till it goes and then write some more and then write some more.
And I come back to my senses and focus strongly at you and beat you.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Simplicity
I just found out that most of my clearest thoughts have their base in simplicity.
It's so nice to know this.
As clear and clean as the blue sky.
Moments - but yet they are- and that's the beauty of it. Knowing that it's possible.
Regenerating-or it might not have been decayed after all.
Crush the old petals and the hue catches on to the tips of your fingers..
Red it is..for is'nt it the colour of the first life? Or the promise of it?
There is actually a smell that sticks to this one.
At times I find it overbearing-but then I twitch up my nose and breathe it deep in.
For this is it. Wonder if it's the same when it takes away a lot of hope and all the joy with it.
Can't be. Or May be. I have absolutely NO idea on this one.
It's so nice to know this.
As clear and clean as the blue sky.
Moments - but yet they are- and that's the beauty of it. Knowing that it's possible.
Regenerating-or it might not have been decayed after all.
Crush the old petals and the hue catches on to the tips of your fingers..
Red it is..for is'nt it the colour of the first life? Or the promise of it?
There is actually a smell that sticks to this one.
At times I find it overbearing-but then I twitch up my nose and breathe it deep in.
For this is it. Wonder if it's the same when it takes away a lot of hope and all the joy with it.
Can't be. Or May be. I have absolutely NO idea on this one.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Inspired
I am inspired by a pint sized atom..as if I was huge...but am older definitely..and he is so young..
don't know what's happened to me-am scared so very much..always..even to write..fearing what people might construe..
Fuck them.
No one cares and the same here with me. Its a little pep talk I give myself sometimes.
Coming back to inspiration. Most of my life has been spent in pleasing people or so I think, when people mostly think it the other way-hard nut to crack- no matter how much you try-this pint sized pretty bitch won't break.won't die..just won't get out of our damn sights and scorched thoughts.
So much for digressing.. and transgressing.
Back to inspiration.
There is an image of a brash , tortured, confused, angry, powerhouse of talent and immense possibilities infront of me.
I like what I see.
There the gambling spirit soars in me. I can very well knaw at my hand trying to guess what it would be? Would he? Wouldn't he?
I was in a museum once- out of extreme curiousity- and was completely blown out of my mind.
It was of Pablo Picasso- it felt like I was in a child's world- there was nothing that man didn't do-paint, create- that he wanted to do. It was on hindshight like watching my six year old son's work. It was fabulous.Simply beyond words.
Now. Would he? Wouldn't he?
I know. He would. And I would win.
Blown out of my mind. Again.Second time in this lifetime.
I am knawing at my hand again.
What about the third time? Would the (!)little one surprise me?
An extremely queer , extraordinarily placed life of the magnificent hattricks.
don't know what's happened to me-am scared so very much..always..even to write..fearing what people might construe..
Fuck them.
No one cares and the same here with me. Its a little pep talk I give myself sometimes.
Coming back to inspiration. Most of my life has been spent in pleasing people or so I think, when people mostly think it the other way-hard nut to crack- no matter how much you try-this pint sized pretty bitch won't break.won't die..just won't get out of our damn sights and scorched thoughts.
So much for digressing.. and transgressing.
Back to inspiration.
There is an image of a brash , tortured, confused, angry, powerhouse of talent and immense possibilities infront of me.
I like what I see.
There the gambling spirit soars in me. I can very well knaw at my hand trying to guess what it would be? Would he? Wouldn't he?
I was in a museum once- out of extreme curiousity- and was completely blown out of my mind.
It was of Pablo Picasso- it felt like I was in a child's world- there was nothing that man didn't do-paint, create- that he wanted to do. It was on hindshight like watching my six year old son's work. It was fabulous.Simply beyond words.
Now. Would he? Wouldn't he?
I know. He would. And I would win.
Blown out of my mind. Again.Second time in this lifetime.
I am knawing at my hand again.
What about the third time? Would the (!)little one surprise me?
An extremely queer , extraordinarily placed life of the magnificent hattricks.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Life is pretty hectic just the same as it is with others...so much so that I create a blog account and start blogging... No seriously...it is hectic doing a lot of things during those precise part of the days/weeks/months/years when you could have actually done something else which might have been still hectic but fulfilling nevertheless..Adding to that, being in one of the oldest cities in India which is still in "coma" does not help...especially when you do not belong... even after being born and brought up here, having spent a good 2/3 decades of your life here. Now, if that makes me look like I am fifty years old, let me take the honors’ of clearing the facts- I am only a good 35yrs old. Yes... I just took a few seconds off to calculate it...just to be sure you know...and for further information, when I will be fifty, I would still be this feisty lady of fifty.. Still ruffling a few good feathers...mmmmm... the very thought of irritating people by just being me thrills me to bits sometimes!!
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